


Leprecorns?

by SuperWhoLockFanBiyotch



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mutual Pining, No Angst, Oblivious, One Shot, Only gay magical creatures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:13:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23845780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperWhoLockFanBiyotch/pseuds/SuperWhoLockFanBiyotch
Summary: Life in Gravity Falls has been wonderful for Stanford Pines. Work on the interdimensional portal is ready to go, but Fiddleford has elected for them to take a break. Stanford takes this opportunity to search for the pygmy unicorn that he's been hearing about. But things are never what they seem in Gravity Falls, and some creatures have a... more finely tuned gaydar than others
Relationships: Fiddleford H. McGucket & Ford Pines, Fiddleford H. McGucket/Ford Pines
Kudos: 50





	Leprecorns?

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea because I noticed that Ford had written "KILL ME PLEASE" on the leprecorns page and my girlfriend talked me out of the "o no Ford is suicidal" mindset and into the "he's gay and pining" mindset so thanks Angel I love you

Life was good for Stanford Pines. Gravity Falls was full to the brim of oddities, magical and scientific, for him to investigate. His productivity had skyrocketed ever since his deal with Bill. And Fiddleford McGucket, his old friend from college, had been assisting him in building a portal to other dimensions. All in all, Ford's mood and mind were in a fantastically healthy place, a place that he hadn't been able to get to ever since Stan left. 

"So kid," Bill Cipher said in his otherworldly drone, "how's your project coming along?"

"Pretty well actually," Ford replied, sipping his tea in their mindscape meeting room. "Fiddleford and I have gathered all the necessary components and are ready to begin construction, although he's suggested that we take a break for a bit before we start." Ford smiled. "I'd like to introduce you two one day, you'd like him."

"I don't know if that's a good idea," Bill said suspiciously. "But I'm sure he's a great guy. You sound awfully fond of him."

"I should think so, we are good friends after all!" Ford said, laughing nervously at the implications that came with Bill's comment. "I should probably get going," he said, setting down his cup. "Since we won't be working on the portal for a bit I've decided to explore the forest and expand on my research." Ford patted his journal excitedly. "I've been hearing about a new creature that sounds like some sort of pygmy unicorn, I can't wait to find it!" Bill laughed.

"Alright, you have fun with that Brainiac," he said. 

Ford left the mindscape and threw some equipment into his bag. The usual stuff, his journal, a few pens, a cipher sheet (just in case), a crossbow, bandages and a few other things. As he was packing, Fiddleford came down the stairs in his pajamas, stretching the tiredness out of his body.

"Where ya going?" He said, blinking sleepily. 

"To the forest," Stanford replied. "What time is it?"

Fiddleford squinted at his watch, rubbed his eyes, checked again, gave up seeing without his glasses, and showed the watch to Ford. It was six in the morning.

"Huh." He grabbed two granola bars and added them to the pile of stuff in his bag. Breakfast was served. "Well, I shouldn't be gone for more than an hour or two, don't burn the kitchen down again okay?"

"That wasn't me!" Fiddleford protested. "I'm telling you it was the squirrel!"

"Right," Ford laughed. "I'll be back." He climbed out of the nearest window and set off to discover the creatures of Gravity Falls. Fiddleford stared after him and grinned sleepily. Stanford Pines was a character, that was for sure. Fiddleford bustled about the kitchen, knocking pots and pans together in a not entirely coherent attempt at cooking.

Meanwhile Stanford was tracking down the pygmy unicorn he had heard of. It wasn't hard to find its hoofprints in the ground, and as he followed them he found the grass being replaced by clovers and moss. He must be getting closer. The trees were growing closer together in this area of the forest, and every now and then Ford spotted something gold glinting among the three leaved legumes. He pushed through some branches, squeezed past a trunk, and broke into a clearing. And there he saw it. 

Ford had emerged on the opposite side of the clearing from the creature. It had its back turned to him. From behind it looked adorably majestic, with a rainbow ombre tail and thick, stubby little legs. Ford could glimpse it's horn poking up over the top of its mane. Its… short… lionesque mane… 

The creature turned around and Ford almost screamed in shock. This was not simply a pygmy unicorn, this was a- a leprecorn! It had the head of a leprechaun, plus some rainbows, and the body and horn of a tiny unicorn. It blinked at Ford, its eyes bulging out of its head, clover stems hanging from its bearded mouth. 

The leprecorn trotted over to Ford as he pulled out his journal and pens. It plopped down and stared at Ford for a minute, blinking erratically and gently munching clovers. It was… kind of cute. Ford got to sketching the creature, and it ambled around the clearing, sniffing at clovers and cleaning itself like a cat. It picked up a clover and brought it over to Ford, dropping it on his lap. Four leaves. Ford smiled at the creature and tucked the clover behind his hair. The leprecorn started gagging. It hacked and it wheezed and finally choked out a pile of rainbow goop covered gold. 

Ford poked the blob of rainbow, scooping a little bit up with the end of his pen and scraping it into a jar. He inspected the material, theorizing about what it could be and why the leprecorn hacked it up. Ford picked up one of the coins, intrigued, and studied the inscription. One one side was a rainbow, with little clouds at either end, almost like a child's drawing or a cartoon. He flipped it over. On its backside, the coin read "Certified Gay." Ford squinted at it, the words blurring and shifting. "Certified Bi?" "Certified Ace?" "Certified Pan?" the coin whipped through these labels, seemingly confused. Ford was so intrigued watching it switch that he didn't hear someone stumble loudly through the brush, calling his name.

Ford was startled out of his reverie when someone burst into the clearing. The clover fell from behind his ear. Fiddleford was staring at him from the treeline. 

"Stanford!" He said, smiling. "I was getting worried! It's been seven hours." Seven hours? Had it really been that long. "Anywho, I made sandwiches, I brought some with me, figured you haven't eaten much." Ford glanced at his bag, the uneaten granola bars lying abandoned at the top. Fiddleford followed his gaze. "Golly gee wilikers, have you eaten anything at all?" 

"I don't believe I have," Ford said, dazed. Fiddleford shook his head and unwrapped a sandwich, handing it to Ford.

"Look Stanford, I know you're used to working without food, drink, or rest for days on end, but right now we're taking a break and that means taking care of ourselves, okay?" Ford nodded, munching on the sandwich. Fiddleford sighed, exasperated by his friend's poor regard for his physical health. "What would you do without me?" 

Ford looked up from the sandwich to see that the coin he had been inspecting had stopped on "Certified Gay." 

"Interesting," he said, picking it up. He looked up at Fiddleford. "Look at this," he said, holding the coin up for inspection.

Just then, the leprecorn began coughing. It hacked up another small pile of rainbow covered gold, then a larger one, and then it was a constant stream of coins and slime raining from the small creature's mouth.

"What the-" Fiddleford said quietly. The leprecorn was growing, bulging in odd places, as if something were trying to escape it. Ford quickly scribbled notes on its behavior, glancing from his journal, to the leprecorn, back to his journal.

A loud bang resounded from the clearing. Rainbow goop and "Certified Gay" coins flew everywhere, covering the clearing and landing everywhere. Ford took his glasses off, stood up, and wiped them off. He put them back on and saw piles of gold, spelling out "Big gAy" and smaller underneath, "you oblivious idiots." Ford blinked a few times, not quite believing what he saw, and decided that it was high time he left. He closed his journal and packed his bag, feeling heat creep into his cheeks. Fiddleford wiped his glasses, and reacted to the gold coin message in much the same way as Ford had. He laughed nervously.

"Well," he said, and repeated the word quietly under his breath, laughing. "Wonder what that means." Ford cringed, hiding his reddening face.

"Yeah," he said, picking up his bag and avoiding eye contact. Fiddleford took a deep breath, trying to get his heart to settle down. 

"We should probably get back to the house..." Fiddleford mumbled, trailing off.

"Yeah, we should," Stanford said, not facing his friend. His stupid, stupid face was burning up, and he could tell that it was tomato red at this point.

Fiddleford wrung his hands, nervous. Ford took a deep breath.

"I'm… I'm gonna go," he said, glancing back at his friend. Fiddleford glanced up, startled.

"Y-yeah, okay, um, see you back at the house?" He said. Ford nodded awkwardly and pushed through the trees, setting off towards his home. 

Halfway back, the reality of the situation hit him. Oh no. Oh no no no. This was bad. This was very bad. How could he work with Fiddleford anymore? How could he even stand to be around him? He was going to need Bill's help with this.

Ford reached the house. He threw his rainbow covered bag into an old recliner and made a cup of tea, then trotted upstairs to wash the slime off. He ran a bath and relaxed into it, sipping his tea and trying to forget about the events of the day for a moment. Which was hard, considering that it was the single most embarrassing thing that had happened to him in his entire life.

A few minutes later, Bill was cackling his ass off in the mindscape. Ford glared at Bill and took a sip of his tea.

"You, you, he, *wheeze*!" Bill gasped for air, still laughing. "Oh my God that's hilarious!"

"It is not!" retorted Ford. "How am I supposed to interact with him now? How are we supposed to build the portal?"

"Look, I'm sure this will all blow over soon enough," Bill said, calming down. "I have to go, see ya later!"

Ford blinked, back in the real world. He pulled out his journal, which was stained just a bit by the leprecorn's guts. The embarrassment was still at the forefront of his thoughts, swirling around in a cloud of self doubt. "KILL ME PLEASE." Ford scratched onto the paper, in cipher of course. 

A knock sounded at his door. Ford scrambled to close the journal and look like a functioning human being. He opened the door and was mildly surprised to see Fiddleford standing there, a plate in his hand.

"You… You didn't get to finish your sandwich," Fiddleford said, holding out the plate. Ford took it.

"Thanks," he said, weakly.

"Are you doing okay?" Fiddleford asked, concerned. "You seemed a bit shaken up after… well…"

"Yeah, I'm alright," Ford said, and took a bite out of the sandwich. "Just a bit shocked." Fiddleford laughed.

"Same here. Never woulda thought that little guy was gonna explode like that. Anyways, I'll be working on my newest prototype if you need me." Fiddleford left Stanford standing there. 

Ford closed the door to his room and sat on his bed, munching on his sandwich. The cloud of self doubt and hate had drifted away. Ford set the plate on his desk and lay down. Maybe it wouldn't be that hard to get over this incident after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I have nothing to say for myself. I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did writing it.


End file.
